


Smoking Lunatics

by Im__A__Brooklyn__Baby



Category: Fight Club (1999)
Genre: Boring lives, Detective, Escape, F/M, I love this movie, Marla doesn't exist...thank god
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-08 11:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1939320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im__A__Brooklyn__Baby/pseuds/Im__A__Brooklyn__Baby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Detective Avery Powell hates how basic her life is. So, to make it interesting, she attends different groups. What happens when she meets a man that changes her life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cracks in My Fingers

**Author's Note:**

> In this fanfic, Marla Singer (the love interest) does not exist. Avery is the Narrator is love interest. I will also refer to him as Jack since I feel like that's his name. I hope you don't mind.

_I saw it all go down before my eyes-- the conversation he had with himself, the blow to the cheeck, the demolished buildings. I never expected it all to play out like this and I saw it all unfold before me......_

The clanky black chair couldn't have hurt my back any more than it already did. You would think, they'd provide comfortable chairs for the sick people in this group but I guess, it doesn't matter since they're all going to die anyway.

I shifted in my seat and leaned forward as if I was listening to the conversation about testicular cancer. Yes, I'm a woman and you're probably wondering why I'm here.

I have the most boring life.

I work as detective at the police station. This, right now, listening to stories about "discovering the terrible incident " wasn't apart of my job. I just hate doing the same thing all the time.

Wake up.

Get dressed.

Go to work.

Bust people.

Sit on your ass.

Go home.

Back to my well-furnished home.

God, I hate it.

I always sat in the same seat, the one closest to the door. Just in case, someone brings a gun.

I bet you also wonder "how do they not know, you're a woman?" I have one of the shortest hairstyles in my unit. It doesn't each touch my shoulder or my chin but it does hang into my coal-colored eyes.

My body?

I make sure to wear the baggiest shirts and the loosest pants. Even adding on a cap, just to push it.

They never suspected me.

"Alex? Would you like to share your story?" The man in the tight sweaty shirt and baggy pants asks. His hair was shaved off and his face looked it was dragged through the pavement seven times.

Too many times, if you ask me.

"I found out, I had it when I was 21 and it was a day after my birthday. I was so so sure it was my trashy hangover, from all the drinking I did last night, but when I saw the crimson liquid leaking through my fingers after I rubbed myself. I-I-I" I let a few tears slip down my cheeck and stain my black pants.

My acting abilities really shone through in these sessions. The thick man besides me moved his hand up and down my back as I sobbed into my hands. I peered through the tiny spaces in between my fingers and looked at the thin man in front of me. He looked completely unipressed but I could sense a hint of confusion in his eyes.

Confusion on my appearance.

Confusion on my existence.

"It's alright. You can continue, if you'd like." The leader said in his soft voice. I sniffled and shook my head, accepting his offer.

"Yes, I'll go on. I couldn't handle the pain. It was so bad, I passed out and woke up on the hospital. They told me the news. That's the worst pain I've ever felt. It felt like bees were stinging me from the inside, like the sun burnt me to a crisp, like someone threw lava on me. It hurt so bad. I felt like less of a man. They removed both of my balls. Righty and lefty. I haven't been the same ever since." I wiped the untruthful tears from my face. I somehow felt terrible for lying to these men.

That'll blow over soon.

"Andrew, you go now."

I got lost in my thoughts again.

What if I get caught?

What if my unit finds out?

What if they ask for medical files?

Oh, I can get that asap.

The light-weight man in front of me was simply interesting to me.

He listened to every story.

Clapped at every silver-lining.

Did all the exercises.

But, yet, he remained so quiet.

When the session ended, I casually started to walk out the door until the same man pulled me into a small closet in the Trinity Episcopal.

The same man who wouldn't stop staring at me.


	2. The Truth Comes Out In A Supply Closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter features some squeezing of areas. Just wanted you all to know. Also, I made the narrator say his name as "Jack". I know that's not in the movie but neither is Avery. So..... I hope you don't mind.

The closet was pretty small. The only items in there were a mop and shelves of cleaning products. The flower pattern on the walls looked like it was on it's last legs. It only remained in strips. The fumes clouding the room made me slightly dizzy. I couldn't help but stare in oblivion. 

"You're a fake." I came back into reality.

Who is he to call me out?

To drag me in a closet?

To call me a fake?

"Are you gonna say anything?" He questioned, his hands clutching his petite waist and tapping his foot. I cleared all the distractions out of my head and stood more confidently.

If he was going to call me out, I would at least be confident. 

"How would you know? I have testicular cancer, obviously. That's why I'm in this group." I lied. He hastily put his hands of my chest and squeezed midly. I was going to slap his hands away when he pulled back and raised an eyebrow. 

Was I just sexual assaulted?   
"How do you explain having breasts then? And big ones, too. You're a woman, not a man. Don't lie to me." 

"Ok, fine, I'm a woman. What does it matter to you anyway. You're faking something too."

"How-"

"Would I know? Let me show you." My hand forcefully grasped his balls and lightly pressed them against my fingers. They're pretty big.

The look on his face was priceless. It was something between pain and arousal. That's when I released them. Not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

"You still have your balls. How do you explain that?" I placed my hand on my hips and started tapping my foot. I guess, we changed roles. 

"Fine. I have insomnia. I only come to these groups to help me. Don't tell anyone."

"Why would I tell someone's secret? Anyway, can I get out of this closet now? The smell in here is making me dizzy." He opened the door for me and I casually walked out.

"Hey, I never got your name. Your real name." He said, before I kept walking to the exit.

"Avery, Avery Powell."

"Jack." 

"Nice to meet you, Jack." He smiled and left me to go home. I walked out into the streets and hailed a cab. 

"Wow."--was the only thing I can say as the cab drove further into the street.


	3. The Office Space Crap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, for not.updating in a while. I'm such a procrastinator. Anyway, here's chapter 3.

Today, I had to go to my unit. Well, it was 8:30 am. I was suppose to be at work anyway. 

I pulled open the polished glass door and greeted the receptionist with a quick nod. The elevator I went to seemed to talk forever so I took the endless flights of stairs to floor 36. I sighed and started my trek.

"Stupid elevator. Stupid stairs. Stupid work." I muttered as I made it up the last flight. Pushing the door open and walking to my office, I ran into one of my co-workers.

"Oh, looky here. Avery is here looking like a mess as usual." It was Jennifer Campbell. The rudest, most annoying and rotten blonde in the whole unit. 

I would punch her out if I wasn't already watched for my outburst last month.

It was her fault. But, that's another story for another chapter.

"Yeah and it's Jennifer being the worst person on the planet. Nothing new."

"You think you're so smart, don't you?"

"I'm not a genious but I know I'm smarter than you." Her face flustered with anger and I could see her hands ball into a fist.

"You know, you have a lot of nerve talking like that."

"Well, I am full of them like every human is. Over a billion actually. So, thanks for pointing out the obvious." I pushed past her and continued to walk to my office.

What a bitch. 

My office had a chilling atmosphere to it. It made me shiver. I went to the thermostat and boosted the temperature up to 76°F. I sat down in my ebony chair. At least, it supported my back unlike the black chairs at the testicular cancer group. That made me think of Jack.

I wondered what he was doing. 

Maybe going to work like the rest of the "successful" people on Earth with a dead end life. I could tell he had a corporate, snobby, disgusting job.

He wouldn't be in the group if he didn't. 

A click sounded from the door and I gasped then looked up to the door. 

It was another annoying co-worker.

"Hey, Avery. You're boobs look great today." This is Adam Miller, the offensive and sexual detective. 

To me, he's the trash of the world.

I sighed and rubbed my nose bridge. I did not need this today.

"What do you want, Adam?"

"Just to look at your sexiness. You look fantastic."

"I would say thank you to that, if you weren't harassing me." He chuckled and closed the door behind him then made his way over to my desk. He grasped my shoulders and started to cautiously rub them.

Every. Fucking. Day.

"What are you doing today?"

"Typing my report. What the hell do you want?" My anger was slowly building in the pit of my stomach and I started to shake slightly. 

"I wanted to see you."

"That's not what you're doing right now. Rubbing my shoulders is not seeing me, it's touching me." I hated him more than anything. 

Even more than my job. 

"Well, you're nice to touch." It was when he started to kiss my neck, that I couldn't handle it anymore. I stood from my chair and pinned him against the wall. Grabbing my stapler, I shoved it in his face.

"You come into my office everyday and make suggestive comments that I do not find appealing. I'm sick of it. Then, you rub my shoulders. I hate that. You're not my boyfriend. You're not my lover. You're not my friend. You're the crap that bothers me. Do not touch me. Do not speak to me. Or else, you'll have my foot up your ass. You got that, Miller?" He nodded nervously and looked me in the eyes. They clearly showed fear. I couldn't help but smirk evily. 

"Good. Now, get the fuck out of my office." He scrambled out of my workspace and let the door close with a bang. I exhaled deeply and went back to typing my report. 

I could tell work would not be lovely today. Great.


End file.
